Is someone throwing a welcome (back) party for a camel toe? Enter… bike shorts. My issue with bike shorts is that they strike me as elongated Spanx (underwear)! My thoughts are that someone was mid-outfit in their Spanx, had thrown on their shirt/blazer and had an epiphany. Wear it to a party, where people refer to your outfit as bold or edgy and voila, the bike short is en trend.
The new innovative bum bag, which fashion houses have decided to label belt bags. YSL did a gorgeous delicate version and then Burberry upped the anti with what I can only describe as an oversized stomach satchel. This trend dances on the don’t go there line, with dance being such a calm insinuation. More twerking.
3. Puffy Everything – Not a Fan.
Puffy Jackets and sleeves are back in a big way – the kind of way that will make you feel as if a jumping castle is swallowing you. I am not sure if we are thinking of the sleeves made fashionable in 1908 or if the 80s are creeping. Then brace yourself, it happened a full-suit puffy onesie, when you thought your eyes could take no more. Is it fashion or simply a variation on an inflatable sumo suit? I am not sure what this trend symbolises, clouds or puff pastry. Baffled.
4. Yellow Mustard, Head-to-Toe – Dont Do.
I sit on the fence with this one. Yellow has many shades: bright, dull, fluoro, pale, pastel, etc. So this can genuinely be a difference of opinion. But if you don’t make this colour pop with complementary accessories (like blue pumps or teal green earrings), then consider yourself to be mimicking a minion… or worst yet dirty sand.
5. Oversized Neutral Suits – Not a Fan.
Curves, what curves? Oversized neutral suits, will not only strip any concept of a body shape, but will also create a camouflage to rival camo gear. Femineity took a back step; I thought it was about the power to flaunt what ya mama gave you with pride. Not hide, so that if a strong gust of wind blows past, you may be mistaken for a kite.
Reality check, if you are not a Jenner/Kardashian or A Star is Born, breakout actress, Lady Gaga then this ensemble I feel looks ridic.
6. Floral Fun - What Not To Do!
Florals is the quintessential challenge of reflecting all which you find beautiful in nature. There are beautiful prints available in all colours and styles. But like everything in life, try to do it tastefully. Exhibit A – Vale Robin Williams Versus Kim Kardashian in a floral-off.